The hardest part of IVF

People often ask me, “What was the hardest part of your IVF experience?”

It wasn’t the needles (though I was terrified of them).
It wasn’t the cost (which is staggering!).

The hardest part was feeling totally powerless over something that was so important to me.

The process took over much of my life.

My body.
My schedule.
My thoughts during most waking hours.

None of it felt in my control.

As an ambitious, successful career woman, powerlessness was foreign territory. I was used to making things happen.  But I couldn’t “make” a pregnancy happen.

During that time, I measured my life in 30-day increments.  And with every disappointment and every setback, I blamed myself more.

My poor judgment for waiting.
My ignorance for not seeking information earlier.
My body for refusing to perform the way I needed it to.

The only person who could relate was a friend who was going through it too.  Looking back, I realize that asking another IVF patient for support is like asking a drowning person to throw you a life preserver—you can’t give what you don’t have.

That’s why having the support of someone who has been there and come out the other side is so important—whether it’s a coach, a support group, or a good girlfriend.

Today at 1pm ET, my friend Lucy Froese and I will talk about what IVF is really like.  We had very different experiences, but it gave both of us our beautiful families. (https://lnkd.in/gyqnnAXT)

The truth is…we’re not powerless.  We have the power to inspect our thoughts, reframe our perspective, seek support, and take action to create the families we want. 

And changing our approach often has the power to improve outcomes.

If you’re considering IVF, going through it, or know someone who is, I hope you’ll tune in.