All I want for Christmas is a DNA test
All I want for Christmas is a DNA test.
It might seem like a strange request for Santa, but it was the only thing that could save my family.
Four years after this picture of my son was taken, I was blindsided in the worst possible way.
My estranged husband—the man I had been legally separated from for seven years—sued me in an attempt to become my son’s legal father.
The day I received the court papers, my world crumbled.
This is a child I conceived using an anonymous sperm donor during our legal separation.
I had raised him alone for four years.
Other than co-parenting the daughter we share, we lived completely separate lives.
And then, suddenly, a man who had been an extra in our story wanted to rewrite it—to become the leading man in my son’s life against my will.
Here's what made it even more surreal:
He wasn’t the biological father.
He wasn’t part of the IVF process that created my son.
He wasn’t on the birth certificate.
He never lived with him.
Never supported him financially.
Never made decisions about his education, religion, or health.
Never spent alone time with him.
He even filed court documents 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘳 stating he was 𝗡𝗢𝗧 the father.
And then, with the stroke of a pen, he sought to claim parentage of a child who was never his.
Whenever I tell this story, people ask, “How is this even possible?”
I asked myself the same thing.
It turns out our state laws lag far behind the science and realities of modern families.
Every U.S. state has something called a 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗮𝘄.
These laws state that when a child is born during a marriage, the husband is presumed to be the father—regardless of biology.
They were designed to protect a child from having a man who has served as a father removed from their life, even if they aren't biologically related.
In some cases, a court can even block a DNA test if it believes removing the father-child relationship would harm the child.
I understand the importance of protecting children.
But who would protect my family against what felt like a legal kidnapping?
I’ll share more about my case and the outcome on Wednesday. But I’d love to hear your thoughts:
What, in your opinion, makes a man a father?
And are you surprised that these presumed father laws still exist?
#presumedfather
#rightsofsinglemothers
#spermdonation
