The uncomfortable truth about infertility

There’s an uncomfortable truth about infertility that women don’t like to talk about.

The truth is…we often feel inferior to other women.

Because we struggle to achieve one of the core things that’s supposed to define us—the ability to conceive, carry, and deliver a child.

We blame our bodies.
We blame our life choices.
We feel “less than.”

Women who undergo fertility treatments feel it.
Women who use egg donors or surrogates feel it.
And it’s something adoptive mothers have to confront too.

Despite our best efforts, a quiet thought lingers…
𝘈𝘮 𝘐 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩?

Of course, the answer is a resounding NO.

You earned the title of mother through love, purpose, and perseverance—just like any woman who brought her child into the world naturally. You are #MoreThan enough.

But fear has a way of creeping in.

It tempts us to hide our truth.

We ask ourselves the all-important question…
𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘐 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺?

And many quietly dread the day that truth might come out—afraid their child will reject them.

This used to be the norm in adoption.

Before 1990, only 5% of adoptions were open.

Today, 90–95% are.

And yet…some women still live in fear.

I want to set women free from carrying that burden.

Here’s the truth I hope you let sink in:

❤️ You are 100% a mother. You are not “less than” because you didn’t conceive, carry, or deliver.

❤️ Withholding age-appropriate truth from your child can create trust and identity issues over time.

❤️ Research suggests that openness actually strengthens attachment—it doesn’t weaken it.

𝗦𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗴𝗼 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴.

My friend, Ayo Haynes, is a beautiful example of what leading with love looks like.

After five rounds of IUI and two rounds of IVF failed, she turned to adoption to build her family.

She was candid about being a single mother by choice.

And transparent about wanting an open adoption.

The agency told her it might hurt her chances of being selected.

It didn’t.

She became a mother to her beautiful daughter at 46—the same age I delivered my son.

Thank you, Ayo, for showing what courage, love, and fearless motherhood really look like.

Tune in today at 1pm ET to hear her story.

#MoreThanInfertility
#NationalInfertilityAwarenessWeek
#OpenAdoption