The power of waiting…

Waiting is of the hardest parts of any infertility journey.  But what we do during that time can make all the difference.

I’m an impatient person.  Take charge. Results-oriented.  A “lets-figure-this-out” kind of personality.

Having to wait for something is very difficult for me.

The 10 years it took to create my family were excruciating.  Because of loss, absolutely. Due to physical and emotional pain?  Definitely. 

But there was also the quiet ache of wondering how long I would have to wait for my dream to come true.

Looking back, I realize my view of waiting was all wrong.

You see, waiting isn’t passive; it’s preparation.

Take the butterfly, one of the most remarkable examples of personal transformation.

When a caterpillar enters the chrysalis phase (aka a cocoon), it appears dormant and motionless to the outside world.  Inside, it’s anything but.

The process of becoming a butterfly isn’t a gentle upgrade—it’s a radical transformation. 

All the caterpillar’s tissues break down to fuel new growth.  Specialized cells emerge that carry the blueprint for wings, reproductive organs, and other essential parts. 

The caterpillar doesn’t become a butterfly by growing wings.  It becomes a butterfly by letting go of old structures it has outgrown, so it can re-emerge as a new masterpiece.

For most butterflies, the chrysalis phase lasts 10-14 days.  For others, it can go on for months.  Some pause development entirely during the winter until conditions are right.

Becoming a butterfly is about intentional timing.

The process involves struggle—not as a flaw, but as an essential part of the recipe.

The same is true of infertility or any other worthwhile life pursuit.

The waiting is a call to reflect.  Re-examine.  Build new skills under the surface.  The waiting is about laying a foundation for the future.

If you’re unemployed and looking for a new job, it’s a time to hone your brand and build new skills.

If you were waiting for the prized promotion to come through, it’s a time to proactively look for leadership opportunities in your current role.

And if you’re where I was—waiting impatiently for a precious child to hold in your arms, there are still proactive things you can do:

Prepare physically:  Ask “What can I do to optimize my health and specifically the factors that support conception and pregnancy?”

Prepare emotionally:  Explore childhood wounds you want to leave behind or other limiting beliefs you want to shed.

Prepare your environment: Does my current job support my vision for parenthood?  How about my household?  My finances?

Pray actively:  If you’re open, consider surrendering your need to control the timing of your dream.  Instead, trust that your life is unfolding in God’s perfect timing for your benefit (I’ve included a prayer in the comments).

Stillness does not mean stagnation

Waiting does not mean wasted time.

What looks like hibernation is often reconstruction.