My Race Against the Biological Clock
What I wish I knew before I married the wrong man
“When are you going to settle down?”
Many career women have been asked this question. While it’s often posed with well-meaning concern, it lands like a sucker punch. Especially when its less polite cousins follow it:
“You’re not getting any younger.”
“Maybe you’re being too picky.”
“If you wait too long, you’ll miss your chance at motherhood.”
But what if Prince Charming hasn’t shown up? Are we supposed to settle for “Mr. Right Now” just because we want children?
I rode the romantic merry-go-round for nearly two decades. And most of my relationships collapsed when I asked the one question that mattered: Do I see myself having children with this person?
At 36, overwhelmed by the ticking of my biological clock, I gave in to the pressure and married someone I’d only dated for ten months. He looked good on paper—checked many of my boxes for a proper husband.
It was the worst decision I ever made.
He was not who he claimed to be—and I hadn’t given our relationship enough time to see that it was all smoke and mirrors. My rigid belief in the fairy tale cost me dearly: ten years of my life, millions of dollars, and—most painfully—emotional wounds to my children that could have been avoided.
If you're feeling the pressure to settle for someone just to become a mother, my advice is simple: Don’t.
There’s no lonelier feeling than being married to the wrong person. And no greater heartbreak than watching your children suffer because you made a hasty choice out of fear.
So what's the alternative? Use the same strategic thinking you used to build your career. Plan for your family.
And that plan shouldn’t hinge on whether or not you randomly bump into your soulmate.
Here’s the formula:
Get clear on your values
Define your non-negotiables
Learn your options
Take your power back
At Cheri’s Choice, I help women gain clarity, explore fertility options, and design the family they dream of—Prince Charming not required.
Follow me on LinkedIn or check out my book to discover unconventional yet beautiful paths to motherhood.
That’s how to tame the biological clock—by making a plan that honors your deepest hopes, values, and priorities.
If this message resonates and you’re feeling a race against the clock, I understand.
You’re not the only one.
We can figure this out.
DM me if you want to talk.
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#femaleempowerment
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