“From Heartbreak to Hope: How Egg Donation Gave Me the Family of My Dreams” - Authority Magazine
I'd like to thank Lucinda Koza for sitting down with me to talk about something that affects so many women but is so often kept in the shadows: infertility.
My interview with her was just published in Authority Magazine.
Infertility is one of the hardest medical conditions a woman can experience. It’s painful because it strikes at the very heart of what we associate with womanhood: the ability to conceive, carry, and deliver a child.
When it works, it's miraculous.
When it doesn’t, it’s devastating.
You’d think I would have seen it coming. But I was genuinely shocked to learn—at 40—that I might not be able to conceive. How could I have been so clueless?
I had been lulled into a false sense of security—a byproduct of post-feminist culture that told me I could pursue my career freely, and that science would have my back when I was ready for babies.
Spoiler alert: It didn’t.
Sitting in the fertility clinic, I received one brutal reality check after another. My doctor slid a CDC chart across the table that blew up my world:
My odds of conceiving naturally at my age were low
The chances of miscarriage and genetic abnormalities were high
I would have to surrender all control of my body
I’ve included the chart here in hopes others won’t face the same shock that I did.
I remember thinking: How did I miss this? I’m an intelligent, educated woman. So why did I feel so... blindsided? But the real challenge hadn’t even started.
The years of fertility treatment that followed took a massive toll. Crushing disappointment after crushing disappointment.
Loneliness. Isolation. Silence.
I had almost no one to talk to about what I was going through.
And then, just as I was losing hope, my doctor asked a question that changed everything: “Have you considered using an egg donor?”
I hadn’t. It never crossed my mind. But learning about egg donation turned out to be a lifeline.
Using younger eggs meant I could turn back the clock—literally. If I used eggs from a 28-year-old, I’d have the same chance of a successful pregnancy as a 28-year-old woman.
With the help of an egg donor, I got my miracles—a daughter and then a son.
Now I have the family I always dreamed of.
Was it easy? No.
Was it expensive? Absolutely.
Was it worth it? Every single penny.
This is just one of many possible paths to motherhood. If the traditional fairy tale has failed you, there are other ways. You just have to write one that fits.
If you’re struggling to make your dream of motherhood a reality, I hope you’ll read Lucinda's article.
Please also check out my book, Mission Motherhood, where I share more of this journey. And follow me on LinkedIn or Facebook so we can connect.
Know that you’re not alone. Let’s walk this road together.
#infertilityawareness
#infertility
#singlemotherhood
#eggdonor
#IVF
#missionmotherhoodbook