Mr. Knowles, Let Me Set the Record Straight
I have a confession to make.
As exciting as my week was—I’ve been carrying a heavy heart.
On Tuesday, I came across a post from conservative commentator Michael Knowles. He was criticizing women who become single mothers by choice in response to a Daily Mail article titled “The Rise of Single Parents by Choice,” about the growing number of single mothers in the UK.
I don’t know Mr. Knowles personally, but his words pierced me.
Here are the lowlights:
“This is the worst, worst possible way to start out as a parent… because you are beginning your journey as a parent by prioritizing your own desires over what is best for your child.”
“If you start out this way, you are starting out being a parent from a position of failure… Doesn’t mean you can’t try to make the best of a bad situation, but this is the worst possible way to start.”
“Kids of a single mother suffer, because they were created never to know their father and only fill a purpose.”
He went on to say that this path to parenthood was not “ordered toward God” and that it instead makes “the individual a God.”
His words echoed the painful criticism I’ve heard before—from strangers, yes, but even from family members—saying I was “playing God” when I chose IVF to become a mother.
Why do so many Americans feel the need to dictate how others should live?
I don’t pretend to know Mr. Knowles’ intentions, though I understand he’s open about his Catholic faith. No shade to Catholics or religious people in general. I, too, am a person of faith.
What happened to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? Increasingly, our politics seem more focused on controlling personal decisions to reflect one narrow worldview.
So Mr. Knowles, let me set the record straight:
Having children on my own did not come from a position of failure.
It came from a position of strength. They have a life filled with love, stability, and intentionality—something that would not have been possible in a loveless or dysfunctional marriage.
Coming from a single-parent home, my children are not suffering.
They are thriving, surrounded by a community—a village—of men and women who nurture, support, and adore them.
My choice was not immoral or made in defiance of God.
My faith was at the center of my motherhood journey. I didn’t defy God to become a mother—I partnered with Him. He placed this calling on my heart and walked with me every step of the way. Where there is love, there is God. And my house is brimming with both.
The Bible doesn’t only speak of rules and order. It also speaks of compassion, humility, and grace. Perhaps it’s time we remember those parts, too.
I still have work to do to shield myself from the sting of such comments. But I’m learning.
For the women like me who know deep down that motherhood is your purpose—you go girl! Don’t let the haters distract you from your mission.
And for everyone else out there: I hope we can make room—for different paths, different stories, and different kinds of families.