For some women, going solo is the single greatest choice

Some see single motherhood by choice as giving up. In reality, it’s one of the most intentional and powerful decisions a woman can make.

Every Single Mother by Choice (SMC) I’ve ever met shares two important traits:
Courage and a deep sense of purpose.

They are women who feel so strongly about becoming mothers that they dare to break the mold.

And our numbers are growing.

An estimated 8-9% of all fertility treatments are now for single women—up ~60% since 2019.

Demand for donor sperm in the U.S. has more than doubled over the past two decades, driven in large part by SMCs.

I’m one of those women.

There are many myths and misconceptions about families created by SMCs:
😢 Children won’t thrive as much as one in a two-parent household
😢 Using a sperm donor will create lifelong identity issues
😢 They’ll feel “different” and struggle socially.

Fortunately, there’s a growing body of research that challenges these assumptions for SMC households.

A 2020 longitudinal study found no differences in child adjustment or the health of parent-child relationships between SMC families and two-parent families.

In fact, one study found that SMC mothers showed greater warmth and less anger toward their children.

Another found lower mother–child conflict.

A third found that SMCs often build stronger support networks than traditional 2-parent households.

Let me be clear—I’m not suggesting that SMC families are superior to two-parent families. And I have deep respect for single mothers navigating this path by circumstance—many of whom create incredibly strong, loving homes despite challenges they didn’t choose.

I’m saying that women who deliberately choose to have children on their own can create a family environment where children can be happy, feel deeply loved, and thrive.

Across single-mother households, research suggests outcomes are often shaped by context—resources, support systems, and whether or not the journey began by personal design.

Choice is the ingredient that often turns life events into acts of empowerment and agency.

I recently met an inspiring SMC named Katie Bryan. She began her SMC journey at 39 and had her son at age 40 using IVF and donor sperm. Now she helps other women decide whether this path is right for them.

I’ll share her story this Wednesday at 1pm ET.

Perhaps we’ve been asking the wrong question all along.

When evaluating a family, it’s not about whether there’s a second parent—it’s about whether there is stability, intention, love, and support.

Because for a growing number of women, going solo is the single greatest choice. 

#singlemothersbychoice