The Rise of Single Fathers By Choice
I have a confession to make: I don’t spend much time thinking about men’s stories of family building.
My work and my heart are deeply rooted in women’s choices, women’s voices, and women’s power to rewrite the fairy tale of love and family.
However, I recently came across an article that stopped me in my tracks--𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗹𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗯𝘆 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲.
𝘐𝘵 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘮 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯’𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺.
𝗔 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘵𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤 reports that the number of men intentionally becoming fathers without a partner has been climbing steadily with growing momentum in recent years.
Men Having Babies, Inc, an organization once focused on gay couples, now hosts sessions where up to 25% of attendees are single men hoping to parent on their own.
𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝗮 𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗳𝘁: 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘆𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗱.
𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗠𝗲𝗻 𝗖𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗵
Much like women who choose single motherhood, these men arrive at their decision for deeply personal reasons. Some grew impatient waiting for “the right partner.” Others saw the pandemic clarify what mattered most.
Advances in surrogacy, egg donation, and adoption have made solo fatherhood more accessible.
For gay men, this step feels more logical since nontraditional families have long been part of their reality.
But for straight men, the journey carries more stigma: questions about masculinity, grief over failed relationships, or fear of judgment in communities that prize the traditional path.
Sound familiar? Solo mothers carry those same stigmas.
𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗹 𝗝𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘆𝘀
When I chose motherhood outside of marriage, I knew I was bucking convention. I knew people would raise eyebrows. But I also knew that love, not tradition, defines family.
Single fathers by choice are standing in that same tension. They, too, are saying: I won’t let social norms, timing, or circumstance dictate whether I become a parent. In their own way, they are rewriting the fairy tale.
𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀
Mission: Motherhood will always be centered on women. That’s the ground I stand on. But acknowledging this rising wave of single fathers doesn’t dilute that mission—it actually reinforces it.
Because at the heart of both movements lies the same truth: choice is power.
The power to say, “I won’t wait.”
The power to say, “I refuse to be disqualified by stigma.”
The power to say, “Parenthood is my choice—and I claim it.”
𝗔 𝗕𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆
So while men’s stories aren’t mine to tell in full, they remind me of something essential: family is bigger than gender. It is about courage, intention, and love.
𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗿𝘆 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿.
