The Ripple Effect of Loss

I never imagined that taking out the trash would be the first step in finding my way back after losing my daughter.

When Rachel died, it felt like my world ended. One day, I was full of hope. The next, I wondered if I could even go on.

Grief like that doesn’t just wound one part of your life—it seeps into everything. Losing Rachel made me question my sense of self, my marriage, my friendships, and my faith.

𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙥𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙚𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙨.

One heartbreak sets off another until you realize you’re not just grieving one thing, but everything you thought you knew about your life.

I went back to work and pretended life was “normal.” But inside, I was going through the motions and avoiding anything that might make me feel.

Then one night, dragging my trash to the curb, I ran into my next-door neighbor, Worth.

Worth was soft-spoken and steady, the kind of presence that feels like a warm blanket. Normally, we just exchanged pleasantries. But that night, he asked the question no one else dared:

“𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗶?”

When I broke down, he didn’t try to fix it. He listened. Later, I learned he’d trained as a grief counselor specializing in neonatal loss.

Worth didn’t give me advice. He gave me a compass in the form of three questions:

•  𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸?

•  𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯?

•  𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱 𝘰𝘳 𝘨𝘰𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴?

At first, I had no answers. But those questions followed me into the hard nights and foggy mornings. Slowly, I began to respond with action.

I laced up my shoes and ran around Lady Bird Lake, letting my body move the grief my words couldn’t. I gave myself permission to rest and to seek beauty.

I read 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭, which offered a child’s-eye glimpse of the afterlife. For the first time since losing Rachel, I felt a flicker of peace.

Healing didn’t mean “getting over it.” 

It meant choosing one gentle action after another. Letting people in, especially the ones who could sit with my pain without trying to erase it.

If you’re in the middle of your own ripple effect right now, I hope Worth’s questions offer a place to begin.

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗱𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴. 

The waves will still come, but in time, you’ll find your footing. You’ll laugh again. You’ll hope for something new. You’ll carry the love with you.

Rachel will always be with me. While I’d give anything to hold her in my arms, I carry her in my heart and in my mission to help other women become mothers.

Loss will leave its mark. But with the right questions and the right people beside you, there is a path back to life.

#GriefAndLoss #HealingJourney #InfantLossAwareness