Ladies, does your husband ‘own’ your uterus?

Cheri outside the Travis County Family Courthouse

Ladies, does your husband ‘own’ your uterus?

It sounds like an absurd question in the 21st century.

But in 2019, it was a very real legal possibility for me.

I recently shared this story on the Infertile AF podcast with Ali Prato.

At the time, I had been legally separated from my ex for seven years.

We stayed married because we shared a business. Otherwise, we were living separate lives.

He had moved on with another woman.

I moved on too.  I chose to have a second child—a son—using an anonymous sperm donor.

We continued co-parenting our daughter. I even facilitated visits at my home.

Then, out of nowhere, everything changed.

Seven years after our legal separation, my ex filed a lawsuit to become my son’s legal father—against my will.

A four-year-old child, whom he had previously declared in court documents was not his.

How is that even possible?

Because of something called “presumed father” laws.

In every state, if a woman is married when a child is born, her husband is automatically considered the father.

Even if he isn’t.

Even if a DNA test can prove he isn’t.

And in some states—including Texas—a court can refuse to allow that DNA test if they believe removing that man from the child’s life could cause harm.

Let that sink in.

Our government could force my son and me to live a lie.

It took me seven months and $250,000 to fight his claim.

And during that time, I had to surrender my four-year-old son for private visitation with a man who felt like his kidnapper.

My little boy was traumatized.

Meanwhile, my family and I were attacked in court.

I was told:

·       I wasn’t a ‘real’ mother because my eggs weren’t used

·       I had no right to pursue pregnancy independently while still married (aka, my ex could have a girlfriend, but he still controlled my right to have a child)

·       My family was “unnatural” because we weren’t genetically related

Fortunately, I got a judge who saw through it.

But it could have gone the other way.

That’s the part that should concern all of us.

Because this isn’t just my story.

It’s a reflection of laws that haven’t kept up with how some families are built today.

This is why I founded Cheri’s Choice—to modernize outdated legal frameworks so no woman has to fight this battle again.

We talk a lot about how far women’s equality has come.

My custody battle is proof of how far we still have to go.

If you believe women should have autonomy over their bodies and their families, I invite you to support this work.

👉 Donate to Cheri’s Choice
👉 Sign the Change.org petition